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Like many good Americans today, I have no intention of seeing the latest installment of the Twilight movies, New Moon. However, the Twilight spoof porn film, This Isn't Twilight, sounds like it could just be one of the top 10 movies of the year.

25 Reasons I would Rather See the Spoof Porn This Isn't Twilight than The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

1. It isn't New Moon.
2. Judging by the first movie, Twilight, which I sadly paid hard-earned money to see, the acting in This Isn't Twilight is bound to be better than in New Moon.
3. Jenna Haze stars in This Isn't Twilight.
4. Kristen Stewart does not star in This Isn't Twilight.
5. This Isn't Twilight features gratuitous amounts of steamy vampire sex. Honestly, Mrs. Meyer, they're young, hot, immortal vampires attending high school with hormone-infested teenagers just entering the "Bad Boy" phase of their dating careers. What does a little case of the crabs matter when you're immortal?
6. The script for This Isn't Twilight is more articulate, creative, and contains a higher standard of word choice than does the book, New Moon. Guaranteed.
7. Any sparkling vampires in This Isn't Twilight fit seamlessly into the plot through the virtue of sweaty sex and money shots, rather than Twilight's excuse, "Sparkles are so pretty."
8. Stephanie Meyer did not write This Isn't Twilight.
9. The graphics in This Isn't Twilight are higher-quality than anything in New Moon.
10. You won't have to watch This Isn't Twilight with a thousand prepubescent girls drooling on your seat. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
11. It isn't New Moon.
12. Sadly, Robert Pattinson isn't in This Isn't Twilight, but if you squint and tilt your head to the left, the main man looks just like him.
13. I've always wondered how Mormons have sex.
14. If I am ever kidnapped, drugged, tied up, and left half-unconscious in a movie theatre that happens to be showing New Moon, I can entertain myself with the memories of the much better This Isn't Twilight.
15. "When you can live forever, what do you live for?" is a terribly un-catchy tagline when compared to "When you can live forever, you can fuck everybody."
16. Which movie would Dracula rather see? Exactly.
17. The actors in This Isn't Twilight are completely open and honest about who they're screwing, unlike those in New Moon.
18. This Isn't Twilight is a better date movie than New Moon.
19. Miley Cyrus doesn't like the Twilight series, so I shouldn't either.
20. It isn't New Moon.
21. After viewing This Isn't Twilight, I will feel less dirty than if I had seen New Moon.
22. The actors in This Isn't Twilight are taking just as many drugs as those in New Moon.
23. If I don't see New Moon, I won't have to boycott all of the awesome bands who contributed to the soundtrack.
24. When grandma comes to visit, I would be more ashamed to have New Moon on my DVD shelf than This Isn't Twilight.
25. It isn't New Moon.